It’s often asked, “what does a divorce coach do? I’ve never heard of one!” Another response is, “boy, I wish I had a divorce coach 5 years ago. I could have used someone to ‘coach’ me through the process.” Completely with you! Divorce is a journey that nearly 50% of married folks will begin, either willingly or unwillingly, and one that we know very little about. Sure, you know family members, friends, neighbors, who have gotten divorce but it seems that divorce is one of those life events that people seem to gloss over without providing details. “We were getting divorced so we sold the house.” “I hired a pit bull attorney so I could get everything I deserved.” “The kids are so resilient.” “We’re better off apart than we were together.” You could add your own if you are divorced or what you’ve heard from others if you’ve ventured into the divorce world.
But why join forces with a coach if you have an attorney? The definition for an attorney is one who practices or studies law; an attorney or a counselor. The definition of a coach is an informal relationship between two individuals where one has greater experience and expertise than the other and offers advice and guidance as the other goes through a learning process. Divorce is a process that people have little to no firsthand knowledge. A coach offers support as you go through the learning process to reach a place where you’re an active participant with your spouse and your attorney. Negotiation is key! Know what you want in the divorce and what you’re willing to give up. That is mandatory for success. In other words, you need to have a plan and a strategy.
Divorce is like no other significant life transition because we hire one professional as opposed to many. When you buy a house, you join forces with a real estate broker, a stager, an interior decorator, an appraiser, a home inspector, a mortgage broker, a banker, and an attorney to tap into the expertise of each one of them. A similar path is followed when you choose a college, get married, have a baby, face a medical crisis, etc. You engage the services of everyone who is able to offer guidance. For this reason, a divorce coach is the first person you should contact when you face the end of your marriage.
A divorce coach is an essential component of your team who serves as your personal advocate, another set of eyes and ears with a full understanding of your issues. You’ll experience complete support and guidance through a demanding and emotional process. Whether you choose to mediate or litigate the divorce, a coach can help you identify the issues you face to create a plan.
Through coaching, candid discussions, sharing success stories, education about the divorce process, guidance, and suggestions, a coach will provide support through this challenging time by creating a personalized strategy. A coach serves as your advocate to coordinate the complicated components of divorce: legal, financial, emotional, social, and challenges with parenting plans.
You will focus on the issues you face and become empowered with the tools to meet the demands of divorce and your life going forward. You’ll gain an objective perspective with a divorce coach. You will gain an understanding of how the process works: beginning to end.
Relationship and support tools will be personalized for you and may include:
- Determine goals & create an action plan
- Determine the best attorney for your situation
- Identify what you want from the marriage/divorce
- Build a divorce checklist and wish list
- Assist in child related issues of the divorce process
- Develop effective communication strategies with your spouse and attorney
- Fine tune your negotiation skills
- Design creative solutions and options for next steps
- Distinguish business matters from emotional topics
- Anticipate and prepare for opportunities/scenarios through role playing
You painstakingly planned your wedding. Work with a divorce coach to put as much attention and time to the details of your divorce and future.