It seems like forever ago – those first reports about the building in NYC being hit. And then the second one. The White House. The plane crash in the open field in PA. And then chaos followed by shock. I remember that beautiful September 11th like it was yesterday. And whenever I experience a bright, crisp Fall morning in September, I think back to 2001. That same thing happened this morning. I thought about September 11th, but for a different reason.
Back in 2001, I was newly separated and my kids were in school. But they were in their dad’s custody on that day. And since we were all in Boston, and it was 2001, there was no cell signal. And landlines were also unusable. I was at work in Boston, their dad was in the office in Boston, and the kids were 9 miles away in their small elementary school. We didn’t know what happened but we knew where our family was. And we knew, for the moment, we were all safe. But with no communication options.
It was his custodial day. What should I do? We didn’t have anything in our custody agreement that spoke to a situation like this. Of course not. Why would we?
I made calls non-stop! Like trying to win tickets to a country concert, I got that fast-busy signal. It was so annoying, like it always is.
I remember most the feelings I experienced. The feeling of being alone. The feeling of being a single mom and not having my kids with me. The panicky thoughts of not being able to assure them that everything was ok. That we’d figure out what happened and resume life as we knew it. And the overwhelming sadness I experienced because I did not have my life partner there to assure ME that everything would be ok.
I don’t have that feeling today for myself. I feel it for other parents who are trying to make sense of Coronavirus. How can you begin to explain what you don’t understand fully to your kids? But you’re aware of the media and the constant pops from your phone as updates arrive.
From a communication perspective, things are very different than they were back in 2001, but from a parent/spouse/partnership view, it’s the same. This is a time when you need to huddle closely with your family. It’s not the same as it was before the split. But you’re not alone. The fears and uncertainty you feel is being felt by parents, regardless of their marital status, all over the US. Band together to keep your loved ones safe. That’s what we do in crisis. And binge watch Netflix shows…we couldn’t do that in 2001.